Shits and Giggles with the Roomie

This picture always makes me laugh. I sent it to my roommate and she cracked up too. This is the kind of humor we have.

We've both been extremely busy the past few weeks and haven't had much time to hang out lately. We make a last-minute trip to Costco before work the other day and it was the most fun we've had together in a long time. We laughed the entire time. At one point we couldn't even walk through the store because we were laughing so hard. We stopped laughing long enough to look up and see a huge box of Cheez-its open and started laughing hysterically again. People thought we were high as kites, and we thought that was hilarious.

I miss hanging out with her!

We've had a lot of good times together. We used to own this town on the weekends. I'm attempting to make a comeback this weekend.

I love my roomie; she's one of my best friends in the whole wide world!!! I just wanted to give her a shout out as the weekend ends (Tuesday is the beginning of our week).


Live. Laugh. Love.

The Small Things Vol. 1

I've decided to start some kind of a regular posting on this blog, since I set out with no real purpose and have been a terribly bad blogger lately! I apologize for my absence and have no good excuse, for the most part....
Anyways...I'm not always the most observant person on the planet. However, from time to time I take notice of very small things that make a huge difference. So here I will be sharing my opinions about those small things!


flossing
Dental floss is one of those pesky little things to use...I personally hate to touch dental floss. However, I love the feeling of it between my teeth! Through numerous annoying dentist appointments and personal experience, I have discovered the incredibly amazing benefits of flossing.

Now don't get me wrong, this isn't the first time I've ever flossed. But the more often I floss continuously, the better the results. I don't want to jump to any crazy conclusions here, but I would venture to say that flossing is just as beneficial to oral hygiene as brushing, if not more important.

Last weekend, in an incredibly hungover state of mind, I preached to some of my friends about how important flossing is. As I sobered up, I decided I would make this a blog topic. True to my word, I'm preaching to those of you who follow.

Challenge yourself to floss your teeth every day for a week (I prefer flossing before I go to bed, but the choice is yours). Let me know if this changes your life!! :)

happy flossing!!!

Upside Down

I feel like my life is upside-down right now. I have a lot of good things in my life, and I can see that. But I'm not where I want to be, and I feel like I will never get there. B and my family are encouraging, but to me it's not realistic; it's not what I want.

I feel that it is impossible to find a job that I want. And I'm not even being all that picky. At first I was only searching for jobs in the specific field that I was interested in. Now I'm not only searching for a job in any sort of medical field, but any job at all. There are hardly any seasonal jobs at the mall, let alone a job I want and that will help advance my career. Getting a job even after you have a college degree is much, much harder than they say.

To put the cherry on the sad little cake, I basically have no friends. I have my roommate, who is like my wife: we live together, cook and clean together, pay the bills together, and have things that we do at home together (mostly our dinner dates and TIVO watching rituals), but I feel she gets bored of me easily because we live together. She invites me to things less and less; when our mutual friends ask why I haven't been around I don't know what to say. I would love to hang out with them more, but I didn't get an invite. People assume she will invite me because we live together and are good friends, but this isn't always the case. I don't want to ask her to invite me out more, because then I sound like a crazy person. Then again, I don't want to tell her that I don't have friends anymore and I really need these social interactions that aren't at work. I have fellow employees, but aren't really close to any of them because only one of us is working at a time. My roommate works with all girls so she has quite a few work friends and girlfriends. I, on the other hand, have mostly male friends (which I don't mind, but they aren't quite the same as having close girlfriends), and don't get many chances to hang out with my co-workers. Many of my friends here in Santa Barbara have graduated and moved on, so I have very few remaining. My roommate still has over a year 'til graduation, so hasn't faced this problem yet, and I feel like she doesn't understand.

I also have B and I am grateful for that, but he also does not sympathize with my problem. Most of his close friends are in another state, but this doesn't bother him too much, as he is not a very social person to begin with. He would rather be alone than not, so he doesn't see it as a negative situation that I don't have many friends. I still have my friends from home, but they aren't here with me and we don't keep in contact as much as any of us would like. For me, this really is a tough situation.

I've been struggling again lately with depression and anxiety, and not having people to talk to is making the issues worse. As much as I try to be happy with all that I have been blessed with, I still feel like I am being tripped in the middle of a busy sidewalk while it is pouring rain. Everyone can see that I am struggling and in dyer need of help, yet no one is willing to help. I'm stuck in this mucky public puddle and desperately need someone to pull me out.

Happy Days

It's been a pretty great week for me. I received a test back in my anatomy class and I have an A, which relieved a lot of stress for me. My boyfriend and I have been getting along wonderfully, and I love him more and more every day.

We had an excellent chat the other night...we talked about things we want in our lives, the future...grown-up things. And, B didn't put up a fight at all! It's a great feeling to get to know someone you care about even deeper than before. I feel that even our short little talk brought us much closer together. This morning, B and I took Miles on a bike ride to Starbucks and just sat outside and enjoyed the weather, and each other. We've figured out when we've had enough of each other and go our separate ways before we annoy the hell out of each other. We can be gross and weird around each other, we know how to make each other laugh and smile, we help each other fall asleep at night. We are at a place right now where we are perfectly content and happy.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I think a lot. I think about everything. I believe this is where my tendency to worry about insignificant things stems from. I'm sure I wouldn't have nearly as much anxiety if I could just figure out a way to make my conscious brain just relax for a bit. But for the most part, I can't. Talking or writing about such bothersome things helps to alleviate some of the needless worries, but sometimes I just can't shake a feeling.

As I've mentioned before - and probably will mention a million times more - B and I have a pretty great relationship. It's admittedly imperfect and that's just fine. We are aware of our imperfections. However, sometimes we have different opinions on where those imperfections lie. For example, I don't think he communicates with me enough. He is aware that I see this as a problem, and he knows that he has a difficult time opening up to people. But he doesn't make much of an effort to open up to me, and this is heartbreaking. He sees communication as only a minor problem, because he doesn't lie to me or deliberately keep details from me. I appreciate this, but I need more.

This, among other issues that arise in our relationship, has been on my mind lately. The hardest thing for me is that I want so bad to solve problems, but he either doesn't see the same problems or doesn't have the desire to change. I respect the fact that he doesn't see everything the way I do - that would be extremely boring. B is also great to talk to because he is such a great listener. However, he is not a great talker. Overall, this makes him not so great at communicating. And when I try to address things, he avoids conversations like the plague. To me, this is hurtful and disrespectful.


I have opened by heart to B, and expect him to [at least attempt to] do the same. I tried to address this issue tonight and unexpectedly started an argument. After I calmed him down, I explained to B how I don't always feel respected. Many people don't understand that sassy comments and rude gestures aren't the only things that hurt people's feelings. Not listening to someone express emotions or feelings to you - or not acting on what you are supposedly listening to - is just as disrespectful as giving someone the finger. Obviously different people are offended or hurt by different things, but I think we as human beings often miss this. The feeling of disrespect is often not exuded the same way anger or fear would be. Granted, disrespect isn't exactly an emotion, but it is still more subtly portrayed than many other strong feelings.

I wanted to end our conversation tonight as quickly as possible so B could breathe again, so I didn't want to stress anything too strongly. But it is difficult for me to handle such feelings of disrespect from my partner when I have it coming from other angles. Co-workers, bosses, classmates, friends....all of these people have made me feel disrespected and unappreciated at one time or another. But it is much easier to brush it off. I told B that sometimes he acts like he doesn't appreciate everything I do for him, everything I have sacrificed for him, all the efforts I make to keep him happy. To me it isn't work, and I don't ask for too much in return. But I at least need to feel respected and appreciated. I lay it all out in the open for him. It would be so amazing and make me so happy to see him show up at my door with some hand-picked flowers, or offer to give me a relaxing massage in candlelight...