Sleep_______

Sleep in.
Sleep over.
Sleep...never.

These are just a few of the things my boyfriend and I do together (along with his dog Miles!)

Both of us are night owls and stay up watching late night TV, even when we have to be up the next morning. We don't live together so we spend the night at each others' place 3-5 nights a week. Sleeping over increases the likelihood of us sleeping in. And in general, we both have some sleeping issues, especially me. I have pills for that, but I don't like taking them very often...

We used to also lose some sleep at our sleepovers because of grown-up activities (i.e. sex), but lately it hasn't been an issue. For some reason, sex has. Now, we aren't one of those couples that requires intercourse every other hour, but we used to have it on a regular basis and it was amazing. The best sex both of us have ever had. My bf is pretty timid so I was often the one to get the ball rolling in bed, so to speak; but the past couple weeks he doesn't have much of a desire to be intimate. At all.

This situation has really made me nervous and I've tried talking to him about it, but he always has nothing to say. He never has answers for me. I try not to be pushy or crazy or anything like that (the usual factors that make guys shy away), but nothing seems to work and he won't get to the root of the problem. I tried all last night to figure this thing out, but to no avail. He says its not me, that he doesn't want to break up, that he still wants me, that there's nobody else (which is the thing I believe the most), but there is still no answer.

I left his house today after a fun morning of taking the dog to the beach, and trying one last time to talk to him. Again, nothing. I even gave him the opportunity when none of his housemates were home, and he didn't take the bait. His dog was more upset for me to leave than my bf was. WTF?!?! I love Miles to death but a dog shouldn't have more feelings than a person!! Anyways, I tried to come home an study, but couldn't get my mind off of our suffering sex life. I was to tempted to call or text him just to get my mind off it, but I didn't. I figured I should give it a rest.

As much as I just want this thing to go away, I don't think it will. If anything goes away from this relationship it'll be our sex life...or worse, me. Through watery eyes last night I said to my man: "I can't be the girlfriend that your afraid to talk to. I can't be the girlfriend you don't have sex with. I can't be the girlfriend you don't want to spend time with. And I can't be the girlfriend who can't be loved." To this, he said nothing. Just a nod.

I can't live with just an acknowledgment of what I said. I need answers. I need actions. Most of all, I need him to show emotions. I'm almost convinced that he doesn't have any. He can get angry, but he can't love....I don't get it. I don't want to lose my mind, but I also don't want to lose my man.