Welcome!

Well...this is my first time "blogging" and to be quite honest I have no idea what I'm doing! I like to write and usually have a lot to say, so I figured I would give this a shot and see what happens. I'm a 22-year-old graduate of UCSB, and like many people in my situation, am facing the "quarter-life crisis." I've always been considered mature for my age by adults, but as I get older I sometimes feel that I'm regressing. Now that I have a degree from an outstanding University, I'm supposed to go out into the "real world" and find a job. Or I can delay this dreaded reality a little bit longer and attempt to get into Graduate school. Right now I'm stuck between these two options and am quickly running out of financial aid money to support myself in this expensive community. I have a job that barely pays the bills, but it's part time and not advancing me towards a career. I have a great roommate and a great boyfriend here, but they seem to lack guidance themselves and aren't helping my situation much.

I've spread myself thin for years and years, always helping other people to achieve what they want. I'm good at helping people. I'm also good at knowing what people want, and delivering. Now this is a good strategy when trying to get ahead and be on the good sides of the right people...at least for a while. However, it is this special talent of mine that has led to part of the breakdown that is My Quarter-Life Crisis.

My family has a history of anxiety disorders and this curse has not skipped over me. For most of my life though, I've been able to deal with any mental or emotional issues I may have. I'm good at talking and am not really afraid to say what's on my mind. However, a depression has come over me that I've been shrugging off for years, and trying to cover up with work and school and social obligations. Now don't get me wrong, these things aren't just a cover up. I love school, I like keeping busy at work, and I'm a very social person. However, I was hiding my true anguish underneath all these things that I "loved" doing, and finally reached my breaking point. Besides seeking professional help/medication, etc., I decided I would no longer try to cover it up. That's what inspired me to finally test the waters of writing my life on the internet.

As I mentioned earlier, I don't know much about blogging. Actually, I don't know anything about blogging. I don't know who, if anyone, will even read this. But for those of you who somehow stumble upon this humble post of mine, your comments are more than welcome! This isn't just going to be a depressing rant of some tortured soul. I live a fun life and interesting things happen to me all the time! I have terrible luck, I'm really clumsy, I have great sex, great friends, and a loving family. My intention for this blog is to express anything and everything. While I would love to live the luxurious life of Sex and the City's Carrie Bradshaw, writing a fun and witty column once a week and buying $5000 Prada dresses to fill up an amazing walk-in closet in a bustling city, I figure this is a start. Besides, I've never even been in a Prada store and am too short for most of that crap anyways.